We always hear people say they want a relationship like grandma and grandpa. However, the reality of it all is that the more mature Baby Boomers generation has a much higher rate of divorce. A recent study has shown with each subsequent generation divorce rates are dropping, but most notably with Millennials. So do they hold the secret to a better, longer lasting relationship? Or is it just coincidence?
Your grandma and grandpa grew up in a time when marriage was an expected step on the way to adulthood. In fact, there was probably a lot more emphasis on getting married than getting a college education. This is probably even more so multiplied among the female demographic who were held back from certain positions of employment. Nurses and teachers were the careers they were pushed into. Daughters were raised and advised to find a good man. The only way they could survive without some viable source of income was by being taken care of by a man. A woman not working also gave up a sense of equality in the household, which also could have led ultimately to divorce later in life when they'd mustered up enough courage to leave--and also obtain spousal support.
In today's society women are educated and holding careers. Households are dual income. We raise our daughters telling them to not worry about men, and that they can be whatever their hearts desire. Possibly, this is feeding into the decrease in their desire to marry early on. So they are not jumping on the first suitor that comes along. And parents are pushing them toward some douche bag because they want to get their daughters out of the house, and off of their list of expenses.
The reason it is believed these marriages are lasting longer is due to the age in which Millennials marry. They are waiting until school is finished and they have put themselves on a career path. I'm also going to throw in more life experiences at the time of marriage. These Millennials have probably had more relationship experience to draw from and apply in their marriages. They have probably traveled, partied, and rid their systems of desires that could ruin a perfectly good relationship. When I was younger I remember couples in high school who had never seen the world or been with anyone else mistaking their puppy love with the feeling of having found a soulmate. But what are you really bringing to the table of a relationship at seventeen or eighteen? What life lessons do you have to draw from during the tough times? Having your PS4 crash on you in the middle of a heated multi-player game doesn't count.
I would also venture to say that Millennials are more comfortable in their sexuality, and so they have not had to hide behind a heterosexual facade to save face. I don't think it's a stretch to say that some in the Baby Boomer generation hid their homosexuality behind heterosexual relationships. Today we call that a "beard", something that was more common in a less tolerable time.
There's really not much convincing needed here. Getting married later in life is just a better, smarter option. Millenials, whether intentional or unintentional, have changed the game. While many scoff at them for other, sometimes credible reasons, in this case we have to give them their proper due. Who knows what else they've figured out that we can all learn from as a society.
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Jarry Davis is the author of After Attraction: Relationships Are Simple, Right? Click here for your free copy
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